"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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