imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
