I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Houston, we have a squirter
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
