i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
cat food counts as protein by the way
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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