I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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