Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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