OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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