What a fucking waste of an outfit
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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