A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
