You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You are the jesus of drinking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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