So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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