Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
