Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
