Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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