I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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