GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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