My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
