he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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