everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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