So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
