remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
