Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
