My Higher Power is John Stamos
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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