garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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