so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
