It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
