So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
