11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
