I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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