are you so shy because you have an std?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sorry about my life...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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