I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
