just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
