I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
