just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
