do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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