This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
