On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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