Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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