well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What a dumb baby whore.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
