i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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