im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
