Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
