question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
