And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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