I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize