Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drake has all the answers
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize