who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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