Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
