i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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