I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
