lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
