Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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