So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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