I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
