Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
