She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
