Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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