Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i dont even know how to be here
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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