he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
