I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
