she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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