lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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