He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
