my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
