i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
