Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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